A psychiatrist friend

I want a psychiatrist friend who would come over when I needed and counsel me. Faraz Chandaer -Germany I want a psychiatrist friend who would come over when I needed and council me.   I want a mechanic friend that will come over all the time and fix my cars. Oh, and a maid friend too.  But unfortunately all my friends are raging alcoholics and panhandlers who think my house is a place to hang out and do lines of cocaine in my bathroom while texting their wives that they have to stay late at work again. I’m guessing you need decent friends and not free professionals to hang out with you. If things are really that bad, try checking our yahoo answers. If that isn’t cutting it, I hear barkeeps are pretty knowledgeable. Actually there was this one time when I was coming down from a regular does of Benadryl and I realized that I had been living with what I though was a wicked awesome woman but come to find out it was a 35 year old pot belly pig name Juniper. So I went to this bar about 3 blocks from the apartment I was renting (which was leased in Junipers name, go figure) and the barkeep there was so ticked off because he said I smelled like a barnyard, which of course made me breakdown into hysterics and so he offered me a hit of whiskey. His name was Benji or Jed, something trendy like that. And so I looked at him and said “Hey man, I need someone to talk to.” He proceeded to roll his eyes and tell me that’s not part of his job. But I kept talking anyways. Before I knew it like 4 hours had passed and I had had like 15 tall waters (cause I forgot my wallet back with Juniper) and I couldn’t pay for anything else. And wouldn’t you know it, this girl walked over and said “Hey man, did you just say you had a pig name Juniper?” and I was all like “Yeah, sort of” and she was all “That’s my pig. I had a wild couple of months and lost her”. And that’s when I knew that I really loved that pig because there was no way I was going to let this chick take her from me. Long story short…. I have no clue where I was going with that.

I want to dress to impress.

I want to impress people with a nice expensive watch, maybe gold with diamonds.  What would you suggest? Jamone Smith - Lexington, Colorado If you are not pimping a Rhodium Watch encrusted with Red Diamonds you are not rocking the jewelry. If you are looking for flashy so people think you are rich, don't wear gold, it's poor people accessories, go with the true valued stuff.

Placenta Party

Q: My wife and I are considering eating the placenta after our baby is born.  We are doing a water home birth and learned that this is a guaranteed way to ensure a long and successful life for our baby.  I have not found any credible information about this online and when we asked our doctor he said not to do it.  I know the doctor is an idiot, so how do we go about this?? A: Oh boy.  Or girl.

Is hating a certain Race wrong?

Is it wrong to hate a certain race?  I don't understand why I can't have my preferences. Kamereon - Florida There is nothing wrong with it at all.  Personally I absolutely hate marathons.  Those things suck. Of course like everyone, I enjoy watching the start when the handi people are tripping over the handicapped people, or even the finish where everyone seems to be balling their eyes out and get attacked by family congratulating them on a great race. But the 14 1/2 hours in between bores me to death. Triathlons scare the hell out of me because I'm afraid of water and Bicycles remind me of clowns, by other great fear. I'm still horrified when I was watching the "Boulder Boulder" in Colorado and needed to pee.  Went to the port-a-potty and there was poop a foot above the top of the bowl.  I could only ponder how over the course of the morning these healthy eating athletes had to magically hover over the top to add to the pile because there was no pull up bar at the top..... Nascar.  Now that's something to watch, especially when they crash and wreck their pretty $1.5 million dollar car, get doused with a fire extinguisher, and jump out of the car waiving at a cheering drunk crowd.

The vandalism at Mt Rushmore

Is Mount Rushmore just government sanctioned vandalism or graffiti? Jason Rhoads -Montana Resident Peter Norbeck sponsored the project and secured federal funding on public land and it was considered an American shrine according to the request for federal money. I would say that since the Native Americans called is slaughter mountain that the “Shrine” in question would highlight the previous presidents that fought to allow Indians to keep their…. maybe not. But it did cost a mere million bucks in 1927 and the revenue today from this federal funded graffiti is $177 million per year. So the government is making BANK from this vandalism. Not sure what they do with this golden goose of a mountain, but I would pander that it was not to help out the Natives they stole the land from. Just saying.

Extrovert

You seem to know AAAA-lot of pimps, drug dealers and other undesirables, What kind of people do you associate with? Carol Archer -Boulder, Colorado Sweet and Innocent Ms. Archer... When I was growing up I saw on TV America Idolize role models like Police, Firemen, Doctors, & Lawyers (ok maybe not lawyers): However, in the magnificent ghetto where I grew up, my local Pimp/Street Pharmasist made 20 times more money than any Banker, Teacher, or other respectable job having citizen: He was always able to afford his rent, he always had money to eat and feed his family & he could always afford the best grimey lawyers that other people with "real" respectable jobs could not buy. Growing up watching the "product hustlers" we quickly learned: as impressionable 7 to 10 year old kids: about how to make it as a small business: from managing & training your emplyees, buying & selling invetory, networking with other businesses, franchising other locations, buying from foreign markets, public & customer relations, giving & taking bribes, manipulating the legal system, and a lot more usefull talents. Just like those most important lessons we see from CEO's at magnificant companies like Walmart, McDonalds & Mircosoft... "You had better figure out how to Kill your competition so that your the only one on your block doin what you do,.. other wize, you might starve." --"Big D", Compton, California

Mount Rushmore

How Far is Mount Rushmore? Jafar - Aurora, Colorado From any point on the planet, you should be able to walk or swim to Mount Rushmore in under 800 days, assuming you get short amount of sleep and don’t get eaten my sharks.