You have a sketchy past, what is prison like? I did something really bad and have to go to court for it and my lawyer says it does not look good. JImmy Garcia -Denver, Colorado Yeah. This. So I have always had amazing high paid evil lawyers. These amazing overpaid demons from the depths of hell, who went to expensive White collar elite colleges like Princeton, Harvard, and Yale, have granted me the opportunity to not have had the pleasure of any of the following fun jail-time activities: It’s always noisy, 24/7 Your body cavities will be searched. The other inmates will try to steal everything you have. Guards may treat you in a gross manner; “The best part of you ran down your mother’s leg.” Communication with loved ones is greatly reduced. No matter what is cooked, the food tastes the same every day. Your habits—sugar, caffeine, alcohol, nicotine—go unsatisfied. You won’t be able to choose your favorite TV show. You will walk through the prison unit in single file looking straight ahead. You will hear metal gates/doors slamming and clanking inside the building If you work in the field, you will be on your feet in the sun all day long. The guards watching you will be nearby and be irritated by the heat, but they are sitting on their horses. Many units have no a/c. The commode has no seat; you will sit on metal and you will share the cell with another. Many units have “tanks” where the men live together; some overcrowded units have their inmates living in tents—in Texas this can be life threatening. Some inmates are armed with “shanks,” homemade knives. You will never have enough money to buy the little goodies you desire at the PX So Jimmy. I would say that you need to superglue your butt cheeks together, dress in drag, and do what you are told by those in charge (like your roomie) and be the very best bottom you can be during your stay in the... Hoosegow, mainline joint, skinner joint, stoney lonesome, con college, glasshouse, bucket, club fed, greybar hotel, big house, slammer, calaboose, castle, cooler, country club, crowbar hotel, digger, farm, guardhouse, hole, joint, jug, juvie, pen, pokey, rock, sneezer, stockade, the clink.